Friday, 11 January 2019

La Voile

今天又去La Voile吃晚餐,虽然点的well-done牛排做成rare,回炉重制后还是medium只好捡着凑合吃,不过喝到不少好酒。Rory照常发挥,特别招待了一杯单人份的hot wine,在炉子上烧热,添加了cognac、orange peel、honey、ginger、spices最后放在很别致的中国茶具里,相当养生了。下次去要给他带点枸杞。

同行的social queen和老板无可挽回地两相吸引,光速热烈攀谈起来。刚一见面,老头的面相就令我想起Anthony Hopkins,连说话抑扬顿挫的语气都颇有几分相似。一边品着法国酒一边给我们晚辈随意地分享传奇人生,我这才知道他就是传奇车手Pierre Honegger,年轻时在全球各地参加过Le Mans、Daytona 24 hrs、Grand Prix等数十项顶级大赛,Mazda GTP之父,80年代还去过香港和大陆比赛,Nürburgring累计200多小时,曾经藏车逾50辆。他上阁楼取出相册和平板,给我们展示他的藏车和赛车风姿。Porsche、Mazda自然不用提,各种经典Aston Martin, Jaguar,还有一款罕见的De Tomaso Mangusta。

他和我们讲,你们啊太年轻,其实在不远的过去地球上是没有限速这种东西的,别看Jeremy Clarkson is full of shit,法国乡间小路是欧洲仅存的可以享受驾驶的地方,除了凌晨的autobahn,把名下所有车登记注册在英国和德国,拿美国驾照在法国随便超速警察会直接放行。传说中的法国南部也并没有那么悠然自得,游客众多氛围喧嚣,而在北部的山路上,左右弯道交错连结,彷如一缕波纹,天然的摇摆节奏加之引擎和排气的声浪韵律,简直堪比勃拉姆斯协奏曲。作为老式汽车的忠实拥趸,他自然信奉没有电脑纯粹后驱的原始设计,认为现代汽车电脑控制的EPS/DSC等系统使人车脱节,失去了驾驶的体验、乐趣和挑战。说到现代四驱系统的动力分配和某些垃圾轮胎干地过弯都打滑,他一本正经地说新英格兰的雪天转弯困难怎么办,用手刹漂移才是正解。等不及2019年的第一场雪了,跃跃欲试。

最逗的轶事是有次sponsor day,他带财团老总夫妇分别坐副驾上赛道,所以初始开得比较克制舒缓。丈夫坐了一圈下来难受得十五分钟都讲不出话,而夫人在第一圈跑完后问,能不能来再给点力还要,于是他连开两圈猛的。结束时夫人颤颤地说“I just had an orgasm”。我简直不敢相信自己的耳朵听到的这段叙述,更令人惊异的是据他所讲这并非个例。还有一次有个女士坐他车,到目的地后说“I've never felt so good. You can do anything to me now. If you stopped on our way in the woods, you could have done anything to me back then.” 最后他宣布了从自身毕生实践中提炼而出颠扑不破的真理——“Driving fast does wonderful things to women.”

除了赛车,他还是一位帆船健将,传说中在帆船俱乐部和海明威有过接触。退役后给时代周刊做摄影记者,满世界各个角落游荡。再后来他在巴黎近郊和美国都开了法餐,由他的两大爱好,或者说事业命名。一家在法国乡间村庄Mauves-sur-Huisne名为Le Volant(The Wheel,方向盘),另一家在Newbury名为La Voile(The Sail,帆)。现在一年五个月的时间在美国,五个月在法国,还有两个月独自一人在海上航行,从Newport出发去欧洲?!显然平时在店里也没什么事情,他说即将把航行时间扩展到三个月,还邀我们去法国做客教开老爷车。我真是无法想象每次一个人在海上航行两三个月是怎样的一场修行历练。

一边翻照片他一边感叹,人最怕的就是步入老年了开始后悔年轻时应该追求一番事业但没有去做,带着悔恨与遗憾了度残生。看着皮肤褐斑满布却精神矍铄,和年轻人交流起爱好来如数家珍的老人,我由衷地敬佩和羡慕。人到能活成这样,到这个年岁不留遗憾,依然保持如此轻松愉悦又健康的状态,实属难得。

午夜临走时两人又抱又亲十来次,欲去还留,约了明晚后晚都来喝。我心想这厮必定从青少年时代开始风流数十载直到年入古稀……精通五门语言幽默浪漫又热爱运动的法国人真不是盖的。后来发现其实老头是瑞士人,只是会讲法语经营法餐而已。Oh well,欧洲男人都是大猪蹄子。

Saturday, 21 April 2018

与徐星相遇

作为中学时代就接触到徐星的读者,今年得知徐星来BU进行三个月residency是万分兴奋的。对徐星的了解始于《无主题变奏》和《剩下的都属于你》,两部似乎是他仅有的出书的作品。当年他的身份是与刘索拉齐名的中国现代派作家,地位在主流社会虽称不上显赫,但两本书横跨近二十年也是文坛一桩传奇。(亦有资料称他于1996年已完成了《剩》的写作。)

近年对于徐星的活动疏于了解,才得知早在2000年左右他便转型开始了独立电影的创作,2002年导演了他的处女作《崖畔上画下你眉眼》(Faces on the Cave Wall)。紧接着在2003至2004年《剩下的都属于你》(Et tout ce qui reste est pour toi)中、法、德、意、西语版本陆续出版,人气高涨的同时,他也将注意力完全转移到了纪录片的拍摄上。十年前徐星带着《我的文革编年史》赴美在USC访问一年,2015至2016年他访问了美国和欧洲的一些知名高等学府,并放映了《罪行摘要》(Summary of Crimes)。今年在BU和Harvard的访问使我们不仅有机会回顾了他的前作,并先睹了他二月赴美前刚刚完成剪辑的新作《腊月三十日到来》(The Day of Reckoning)。

三部电影,三场放映,选在了三个不同场馆。《罪行摘要》在BU Jacob Sleeper Auditorium放映,《我的文革编年史》(A Chronicle of My Cultural Revolution )在Harvard Ed Portal放映,《腊月三十日到来》则选在了中国城的Pao Arts Center。感谢南都网易新京报曾经对前两部作品的报道,这里简要提一下最新的《腊》。拍摄以嘉兴图书馆范笑我追溯弘一法师遗物的下落为线索,以沈雪华的叙述为主,通过她与蔡大可两人的爱情故事折射出1949年建国后人民命运的变迁。蔡与其父均是传统的知识分子,与弘一法师私交甚好,获赠了大量遗物。两人婚期正直建国后不久,由于各地设立了抓捕反革命分子的指标,1950年蔡被冠以反革命分子头衔打倒关押至1965年。丈夫被逮捕后,沈被“借走”家中钥匙,遭到抄家,所有财产被运走,只有弘一法师的钵和一串佛珠幸存。得知丈夫身亡的消息,无儿无女的沈迫于政治压力改嫁。但1965年蔡突然出现在了家门,“起死回生”的蔡才发现父母已经双亡,家产荡然无存,妻子也成了别人的老婆已经育有子女。尽管如此两人感情犹在,重新开始通信,又正值十年动乱,无家可归的蔡再度入狱辗转青海,两人之后一直保持通信二百余封。1984年蔡出狱返乡,沈的丈夫禁止她与蔡来往,沈决定离婚追逐爱情,在法院判决离婚后,这对被时代硬生生拆散的鸳鸯终于重聚。动乱期间蔡家还有一部分书画寄存在寺院,但字据已经遗失,寺院坚持声称先人赠予的礼物不得收回。蔡爱好收集钱币、邮票和烟标,并将不同烟标根据字样编排为六册故事集,讲述他与沈动乱时期的爱情。

片名《腊月三十日到来》出自弘一法师的横幅,原作已经遗失,但蔡仿写了一副挂在家中,意在正如旧时商户年底结算一年往来盈亏,世人之为善为恶亦必有清算之日。

放映后徐星老师回答了观众问题,并亲切地和学生们进行了交流。有幸与徐星老师短暂攀谈,得知他已经拍摄了两部纪录片的素材,接下来将着力于剪辑制作出两部新片。其一是对旧社会二十余名在地主家工作过的长工的访谈,受访长工表达出的一致信息是旧社会具备迁徙自由,没有收到阶级压迫;其二是对一位被安插在物理学家束星北身边的学生的采访,讲述了他的间谍经历。

徐星老师最后叮咛我们,作为海外学子,尤其是自然科学领域的科研工作者,不一定要自己有什么行动,但一定要保持对祖国历史和现状的关注。

Monday, 23 October 2017

Quick note on Sony WH-1000XM2 and Bowers & Wilkins PX

Recently acquired both WH-1000XM2 and Bowers & Wilkins PX and this is a quick note to remind myself of my listening results and also to echo several somewhat negative reviews on B&W PX I've read online. The decisive factor for me to keep the 1000X and drop the PX is audio performance with ANC on.

Audio: With ANC off, both sound lovely Obviously the. With ANC on in flight mode, however, Sony wins easily. The 1000XM2 is considerably more dynamic, open, and rich, whereas PX sounds completely flat, muddy, and lack of clarity in details. ANC does ruin the PX's sound quality.

ANC: Easy win for 1000XM2, which is on par with Bose's ANC performance. PX is pretty good but not as excellent as the two leading competitors.

Design and build quality: The metal, real leather and honeycomb on the PX feel premium and well made. The L/R audio lines are beautifully inlaid in the grooves of the curved metal structure. It doesn't fold but comes with a quilted leather pouch. On 1000XM2, the cheap plastic makes it feel, well, cheap. Part of the headband is metal though. The XM2 folds at the plastic joints and seems prone to structural damage like its predecessor. It comes with a hard case—uglier, but better protection.

Features: 1000XM2 can function as a conventional headphone without needing external power when wired. PX, on the other hand, always requires power whether in wired or wireless mode, although USB C is a plus.

Verdict: I fell in love with the PX design instantly, and having to choose 1000X breaks my heart, but, the ears want to hear what the ears want to hear.

Reference: Audeze LCD-XC with crappy DAC/amp.

Test tracks: all at 16 bit / 44.1 kHz or 24 bit / 96 kHz
The Flower Kings - A King's Prayer
Opeth - The Lotus Eater
Radiohead - Subterranean Homesick Alien
Deathspell Omega - The Synarchy of Molten Bones


Thursday, 10 August 2017

到不了

 一直在试图忘却,让自己变得超脱,享受当前的生活。我深知不该有任何怨言,但也发觉到已经很久以来没有真正的快乐。一时的安逸并没有令我麻痹自己,却时而勾起过去的喜怒哀乐,或是惊奇与平淡。只可惜零零散散的交集过后,人,总是终究成为各自的过客。每每目睹物是人非之时,总是最难过的心境,惋惜,惆怅,更是惘然。

我也隐隐有所警觉超脱不过是冷漠的代名词,而且真正快乐所需要的基础是永恒。怎奈过往浩若烟海,唯一的常量只有自己。这仅是人世间再平常不过的悲剧,但还是直教人止不住地悲哀;对自己没有交代,惴惴不安,乃至生发出惶恐。以为closure会带来闭合与解脱,但似乎从未有过机会或是从未奏效。只怪我茫然不自知,抑或这难以捉摸神秘的解根本就不存在。

过去的努力生活仿佛都是徒然,冷观现在的生活谁说又不是呢,区别大约在于我已不会奋不顾身了。一个徒劳的轮回,一次又一次徒劳地上演,除了被裹挟着应对,我深感无路可循,唯有焦虑地等待下一个轮回寄希望于一个异常的出现将这一切打破。恍然一世宛如数个不同的人生,连结这些片段的只有充斥内心一成不变的思想和本源之根,以及那份从容审慎中往生挥之不去的痛楚。

大概需要变得更加健忘,依赖时间渐渐风化,唯有如此才可一直活在此生中,尽管麻木。

Thursday, 21 January 2016

有些话未能说出口,比如“我不能没有你”,比如“你这是在要我的命“,”比如“毕业就结婚”。因为觉得太过显而易见,肉麻浮夸,忸怩作态,又或是在等待时机。未说出口的真实想法大约仅存这些。

在强忍着出离愤怒气馁和绝望时,“求求你理智一点冷静沟通不要再胡闹再骗人”是我能说出口的最卑微的话。就哄骗而言,我是一个不善言辞的人。不仅不会甜言蜜语,况且原本品性也不会与任何人多费口舌。

终有一次,对一个人把话说尽,便也走尽了路。内敛延续;尽管隐是难解的风度,但一如既往的是心意彰明昭着。

Sunday, 3 January 2016

How does one feel upon loss of the only cherished hope?


Dead.

立场不同的人在一起只会互相折磨,何况两个坚持自我的人。原以为相同契合的人实则正相反,人对自我的描述竟可以南辕北辙,起初的掩饰必定是短暂的,本性最无法抑制。可一旦陷入其中,要我如何轻易结束?情绪扭曲事实,道理与感受的冲突,是非对错的争辩,无休止的发泄与暴怒,缝缝补补两三年,没有恨,只有哀怨。

为何没有看到这结局?怀抱最高期望,倾尽全部心血,仍不愿相信目睹的执迷不悟,这就是自欺欺人吧,亦或是我爱得自私。哪怕此时甘愿再让步,却已然太晚,君不待我恣寻欢,我枉待君空追忆。

一无所有,仅剩下永恒的回忆无以忘怀。那些定格在一瞬间扑面而来的,是纯粹的美,真诚、热烈、纯洁,亘古不变;永葆那份温存不会逝去。

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Sunday, 13 December 2015

弱者

犹记得学期伊始那个拔掉四颗智齿的午后,只身一人顶着麻药办完手术手续,开车去药房取药再回家。鲜血和唾液流淌不止,为了三天后与新一批学生初次见面不至于牙龈肿痛口齿不清或面目肿胀羞于见人,只得不断换纱布敷冰袋。口中的腥秽令我不住作呕,无法进食休息或做任何事。

心如刀绞的我已经麻木,毋须开启止痛药瓶,只是独自安静地坐在床上。一夜复一日,像被埋葬的一具恶臭的陈尸禁锢在棺木中,静静等待死神召唤复苏。

那个时候我却没有泣不成声。

现在已经难以忆起那二十四小时的思绪,仿佛除了情感以外并不曾受过体肤的煎熬。经过度日如年的最后几个月,大约我将也会淡忘自己曾经坚强过,曾经无奈无力无助过,曾经竟可以那么失望决绝,而无可救药地熔化在哀恨的挽歌中——正如我过去义无反顾地迈向远方的坟墓。

拒绝弯路,却终于走投无路,唯有嗟叹难得糊涂。

Wednesday, 25 November 2015

怀疑

我心中有一把留给自己的尺,用来衡量自己的一切行为,只希望能做到无愧于世人,不至于沦落到鄙夷自己。人生中的每次的失误,这把戒尺都可靠地鞭挞我的良心,使人自责,催人自省。

曾经很少怀疑自己。但太多的争执,太多的回忆,太多的痛苦,令人意志薄弱,立场松懈,思绪混沌。开始怀疑,每天都在怀疑自己,我的坚持有没有意义,我的表达是不是痛彻,我的决定够不够理性。依然坚信理性会指引我解答这些问题,然而现在的我所残存的理性已经不足以对这些微妙的问题给出肯定的正确答案。

甚至开始怀疑,陪伴自己十余载的这把尺是否真的公正准确。即便我仍然可以对愚昧大众不屑一顾,但却无法忽视来自深爱的人的竭力谴责,字字句句蚀刻在心上,像一座写满了控诉墓碑耸立在心头,以其不朽见证着未能走入坟墓的爱情的幻灭。我已然无力为自己辩护。

我在怀疑中挣扎。方才隐隐发觉,或许比起害怕丧失自我,更加害怕的是失去对方。

Sunday, 22 November 2015

一醉方休固然简单,但醉醒了又如何呢,犹记得两年前上次喝醉,晚上醒来竟得以相见。两年来的每一点一滴现在忆起都不堪回首。一切无法再重演,何况至此也已毫无意义。

想忘记这一场恍惚的梦,但醉易醒,梦难醒。很惭愧我终究也有做不到完全理智的时候,只因这是我唯一的痛处。又有人真的懂吗。

Friday, 20 November 2015

结束了

还是没能捱过第三年,最可怕的结局还是发生了。与伴侣之间的沟通竟可以产生如此多的矛盾冲突。或许根深蒂固的分歧早就注定会分开,只是我一直在自欺欺人,不愿臣服于现实的挑战,倾心向往童话中的幸福。

然而并不是所有努力都会有成效。理性的缺失使问题屡屡重演,当妥协无法达成,在暴戾的脾性面前,真爱是多么苍白无力。那个通情达理、深明大义的她已不复存在。一切无可挽回地走向悲哀的深渊,未能阻止我恨自己无能。

所有人都羡慕、祝福我这段美满的恋情,可惜灰飞烟灭的那一刻,历史只是成为一片朦胧的海市蜃楼。

想哭却没有眼泪。

Monday, 17 August 2015

Mac Frustrations and Thoughts on Apple

Two months ago I was asked to install Windows on my girlfriend's MacBookAir4,1 (11-inch, Mid 2011). This is a long overdue post on what a nightmare it was.

Before going into anything, I have to say [1] it's a huge pain in the ass trying to find useful support information on Apple website. Just like their products, the website is a piece of shit. There is no way to specify the model and find all relevant resources for the model you own. All the following procedures were done by following Apple's knowledge base and other articles online thanks to Google.

The MBA comes with EFI support. At the time the latest EFI firmware was from years ago and clearly outdated. Despite the countless threads out there complaining about audio issues. I decided to try it myself anyway. As expected, [2] installing Windows 8.1 in native EFI mode resulted in no sound, for which there was absolutely no fix. (Now there is a new firmware out, a "security" update. I don't believe that it solves any real issue.)

Apart from malfunction of audio chips, [3] the display wasn't working, either. After installation was finished, the Windows desktop turned into a completely black screen upon logon. The solution is to go into safe mode, manually delete the display driver, and restart. This will only get the desktop back.

Since EFI = no sound, and BootCamp = sound on MBA, there is only one alternative I could try - BootCamp. [4] When you create an installation USB media with BootCamp, the progress bar never indicates the real progress. It's simply stuck at the same place forever. Well, not forever, until the creation completes.

What sucks about BootCamp is that it imposes a minimum partition size requirement when you create a secondary partition for Windows. [5] The free space reserve for the primary OSX partition must be at least 8GB. That's 8GB space downright wasted out of 64GB total, the stock SSD capacity. I would not accept a 12.5% drive space loss.

How about adjusting partition sizes after BootCamp installation? I installed Windows 8.1 via BootCamp following all requirements, and shrank the primary partition using GParted Live without actually moving any data. [6] But OSX couldn't even load - displaying nothing but a question mark in a folder. There are some instructions on how one can try to fix the boot problem; I didn't get it working. (Update: seems to be a widely known problem with a fix.)

When downloading OS recovery via Wi-Fi, I closed the lid to do other things. When I re-opened it, the screen stayed black. [7] Apparently the MBA froze or went into sleep and couldn't wake up. Forced shutdown and had to start over.

When reinstalling OSX, I tried making the primary partition as small as possible, in order to leave maximal space available for Windows. At 13.01 GB the installation allowed me to proceed. However, [8] after a restart it said not enough disk space, additional 60MB needed. Bet you didn't know - OSX requires different partition sizes as you go through different stages during installation; the installation fails in a later stage even though it has confirmed enough free space in an earlier stage.

What a fucking stupid piece of shit. Above numbered are the issues encountered in the entire process in the order they occurred. A total of 8 simple things went wrong when one simply wants to recover OSX, adjust partitions, or install Windows.

The series of frustrations is extremely consistent with my prior experiences with Apple products. For example, the iPod 5th generation which saw its buttons break repeatedly after numerous repairs and died all of a sudden and never turned on again thereafter.

In the last decade I fail to recognise any merit in Apple's hardware or software. It always pains me to watch a world of ignorant trend chasers constantly fall for their smartass marketing and substanceless novelty only to get the some of the shittiest products out there. To me, Apple represents the worst performance, cost-effectiveness, workmanship, customisability, design philosophy, and business practices among major manufacturers. The closed ideology has persisted throughout its lifetime and meanwhile utterly disgusted me over all these years (and I'm sure the open source, overclocking, and gaming communities).

Well, fuck the hippies that worship Apple and the root of evil and closedness.

Terrible Experience with Comcast

The "terrible experience" posts may well turn into a series...

I've had Comcast since 2011 in TN and MA except for one year. The overall experience is consistently terrible. Here are some reasons for never choosing Comcast as your ISP (or provider for any other service).
  1. 250GB/month data cap for Xfinity internet plans. For my household the data usage is around 1-3TB/month. I had to switch to business class to get rid of the data cap at my old residence back in TN. Luckily this nationwide data cap is suspended in MA. 
  2. Switching service plan is never smooth . Xfinity and Business Class are two independent departments. Even though the service always comes through the same cable lines, I had various issues when switching from one to the other.
  3. Moving is never smooth, either. If you move to another state, be prepared waste days and months for them to get the billing right, as a representative is only able to deal with things within the state, and is unable to manage or transfer your old account in a different state.
  4. It is incredibly difficult to get the refund to which you are entitled from Comcast, especially when it involves your old account in a different state. Representatives are not helpful in locating the old account and checking final bills and balances. Any service centre you visit or rep you reach over the phone will tell you they are unable to do anything, and when they say there will be a follow-up, there won't.
  5. Service reliability has always been an issue, regardless of location and service class. Service can be down for all kinds of reasons, from inclement weather to construction accident to "scheduled" maintenance.
  6. Never any notice for downtime whatsoever. If maintenance is scheduled there is no reason not  to give prior notice to customers in the affected area. If you call the support line, occasionally the automated phone menu will tell you there is an known outage. You could, of course, call customer service to request a reimbursement for the downtime, but the reimbursement amount is only $2 or $3 which is not worth your time.
  7. Cancelling the service? There is a 60-day prior notice policy. If you don't notify Comcast two months earlier, you have to pay for two extra months. This clause is not in the contract you signed, but in a 18-page ToS to which your contract links.

    This is the point where I came to the conclusion that Comcast is total bullshit, because I never had any issue cancelling my service with any utility, phone, or internet company. Even one of the busiest logistics/moving companies in the country scheduled my service in two weeks.
  8. When a business class contract is about to expire, Comcast renews it automatically without ever asking you. If you signed up for Xfinity online and the OK rates lured you in, the rates automatically go up usually by 40% after the first year.
During the one year when I did not have Comcast, I had RCN instead. The service was more reliable, affordable, and speedy. The only problem was RCN's coverage, or in other words, Comcast's monopoly in Boston area. Most cities north to the Charles River have only one ISP that is Comcast. The Boston area is loaded with outdated infrastructure (cough, the T, cough). Lack of municipal-level fibre networks makes perfect soil for monopoly of evil cable companies. The pathetic thing is, we the residents have no other choice but to feed them.

So, support your regional ISP while you can, if they provide decent service and competitive price.

Thursday, 11 July 2013

Things I Expect from a Quality Feed Reader


Essential features as a feed reader:
  1. Instant data import from Google Reader
  2. Auto-discovery of feeds by webpage URL
  3. Compact UI, or at least an optional compact UI
  4. Widescreen support and dimension-adaptive display
  5. Inline excerpt display of arbitrary length in list view
  6. CSS Optimization such that highlighting any text field such as entry title for copying is easy
  7. Categorization of entries (manually star and label, or automatically filter incoming entries)
  8. Actual unread count for each folder, label, and feed
  9. Actual unread status for entries regardless of age
  10. Favicons
  11. Publish and fetch time of each entry
  12. Alphabetical sorting of list items, and drag n' drop support
  13. Keyboard shortcuts in agreement with the GR canonical definitions
  14. Search capability for feed and articles within subscriptions
  15. Complete subscription management (ability to easily add, delete, batch delete, label, rename, and reorder feeds and labels)
  16. Unchanged list and focus position when switching between display modes
  17. Load and search speed (server)
  18. Navigation performance when quickly moving through items (client)
  19. Auto-update of changes in fetch entries with a notice; avoid showing minimally different duplicates
  20. Site-wide SSL encryption
  21. Full cloud service with cross-platform compatibility on desktop
  22. API and Instapaper button (or other types of Kindle support)
  23. Personal and per-feed statistics
Social features:
  1. Share/broadcast with comments to personal public profile; feed output
  2. Send to friends via email
  3. Share via twitter etc.
  4. Attempt to unify internal "like" and external voting forms such as Google +1, Facebook like and Digg
  5. Trending topics and classified recommendations generated from social data and user labels/tags

doubanclaim242f523ee07c7234

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Status Archive

Pierced from within
2015-11-20

Enslaved covariant
2013-08-17

Of What's to Come
2012-12-22 06:07:07

Back to path of the weakening
2011-12-10 02:31:10

奕秋
2011-10-04 13:47:29

The earth is a cold dead place.
2011-05-09 13:23:44

"愿得一人心 白首不相离"
2011-03-03 09:17:44

Chances are there's no chance at all.
2010-11-30 23:22:48

Sleepless moonbabies
2010-11-11 16:11:16

Massive conspiracy against all life
2010-09-12 03:09:51

现在的孩子 说什么好呢
2010-09-04 06:31:46

And I, should contemplate this change, to ease the pain.
2010-07-01 07:35:22

Such a lonely day, and it's mine. I'm glad i survived.
2010-06-20 12:16:30

忧长假期
2010-05-18 19:18:26

It would be unrealistic to expect the search for them to be successful.
2010-04-07 15:52:15

网评员们畅所欲言,真是“五毛加五毛——想到一块去了”
2010-03-03 05:41:14

你今天非法献花了吗?
2010-01-15 09:00:13

Second coming, retrospective haunting
2009-12-20 22:09:01

译言被封后又证实了一条真理 这年头办个网站 不被封你都不好意思
2009-12-04 19:52:15

“《蜗居》表明了三代人的关系,60后最爽,有钱有女人;70后也在房价上涨前买到房,80后没钱买房,女人也被60后抢了"
2009-12-03 14:47:19

相比起芬兰将“至少1Mb宽带连接”定义为基本人权,中国却将上网超过6小时定性为精神病
2009-11-22 04:43:11

"I am thine: save me: use me: thee will I serve, day and night, in great, in small, that I may be not virtuous, but virtue."
2009-10-12 04:53:53

All is absent, all is cracked.
2009-09-04 12:32:38

Sigh
2009-08-30 09:56:26

美国的橘子不甜 美国的订书钉不结实 美国的妞儿不耐人 哈哈哈
2009-08-28 03:38:32

“这堵高墙,起初你仇视它,反对它;然后你适应它;最后你就依附它,离不开它了,这就是制度化”
2009-08-23 22:38:47

不解风情万种
2009-07-23 16:06:12

以自己和一帮上了年纪的腐朽愚昧的小市民政见相同而为荣?
2009-07-23 12:09:44

就这么凑合着活吧 受着 待着 拖着 耗着 忍着
2009-07-09 03:10:11

七一罢网
2009-06-24 03:54:28

绝望其实是无限的美好
2009-05-11 21:38:53

Rhodes College ‘13, Memphis, Tennessee
2009-04-30 21:36:07

奥美的选拔赛 谁打?
2009-04-09 18:52:32

绝望其实是无限的美好
2008-12-15 00:38:03

Thank you for taking a moment to offer your sympathy to Shadow Gallery and Mike Baker's family at this time.
2008-12-07 16:15:48

黑箱监管集体诉讼原告指南 http://docs.google.com/View?id=dds68dz_11d9xw9dfh
2008-08-01 12:17:44

我真傻 真的
2008-07-27 00:06:50

一切早已失尽了艳色 只留下黑白
2008-05-20 01:05:44

XX + XY = ∞
2008-03-25 20:15:56

每每从异性身上感到更大威胁所在
2008-03-18 19:35:35

抽象意义上的不断肯定而具体实践上的不朽否定
2008-03-12 18:14:52

需要或者必定存在一个语境
2008-02-21 21:21:37

娇口陈赞
2008-02-15 20:40:00

Virgins are inexperienced sluts.
2008-02-05 20:43:52

不大纵使是不大 但也绝不是小啊
2007-12-31 00:26:43

Radiohead In Rainbows 2007.10.10
2007-10-13 17:11:03

原来The Cure不仅是治愈 也是制欲啊
2007-09-14 17:19:08

track3. after17
2007-08-21 20:29:53

Why call it anything?
2007-08-16 17:08:41

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

云淡风轻

Duan Yutong 2:32 AM (4 minutes ago) to laputajessie

I did not accompany you in the past two years; your numerous guys did. You are not my friend, ever.
Just be a bitch as you are and get lost.​

On Mon, May 13, 2013 at 11:05 PM, laputajessie wrote:
> Dear,
>
> It's great to know you, and I really want to thank you for your accompany in these years. No matter what
> have happened between us, you are always my friend.
>
> All the best,
>
> Jessica

时隔两年,毕业典礼后曾经熟悉的一个陌生女人的来信,以上作结。

Sunday, 31 March 2013

Terrible Experience with US Airways

I was enjoying a book chapter on AdS/CFT correspondence in 5-dimensional brane models tonight on an aeroplane before departure. An aged attendant came along and asked me to "power off" my kindle 3rd. gen keyboard 3G while others were reading magazines and newspapers.

At first I kindly explained to her why an E ink device in this case is equivalent to any paper-based media: it does not take any power to retain the grayscale display since E ink pearl screens only use power when the electrodes change the polarization of the charged ink particles, there is in fact no viable way to power off any E ink screen, and she will always see something on display. But she wouldn't listen and insisted that I "power off any electronic device", which eventually started to seriously piss me off. I almost wanted to question her: do you ask passengers to take the batteries out of their watches or pacemakers which are technically "electronic devices" as well?

I dislike those who are extremely difficult to communicate with, lack the necessary knowledge to to their job right, and show little respect to customers who do things beyond their comprehension. Also worth noting is that during the previous flight before the connection, they screwed up the cabin pressurization and I had a severe earache for 10 mins.

Conclusively, I discourage anyone from flying with US Airways unless you wanna risk blowing up your eardrums or being talked down to like an antisocial criminal by some ignorant attendant. — at Charlotte Douglas International Airport

Friday, 7 December 2012

很遗憾,莫言不够格,且丢人太甚

  很遗憾,莫言不够格,且丢人太甚。

  携带一个跳梁小丑般的以所谓“诗人兼好友”身份陪同的地级市官员已经令人作呕(令我想起读书后期大量由官员所作的滥竽充数的文章,以及王立军教授转型学术横跨数领域与李昌钰瞬间成为老友),到了瑞典不仅偏要装出硬气的做派,断然拒绝回答记者关于刘晓波的提问,居然还将新闻审查与污蔑诽谤混为一谈,极力为审查制度辩护。如此一个标榜自己“从来都喜欢独往独来”的人,却又在体制内屈从妥协十余年、与文化对口官员沆瀣一气,令人无法心生敬意。在法兰克福随队一同离场时他独往独来的风骨荡然何存呢。

  没有完整读过他的长篇,但很怀疑他的一些作品是否真有那么经典。从读过的文字及其言行看来,我感觉此人怯懦窝囊又歇斯底里,出于现实考虑活得极其虚伪,不够真诚坦荡,生活与创作植根于物质,从未能够做到摆脱历史时期、个人经历、社会条件的禁锢,并且愧对一个作家应有的品格与良知。一言以蔽之——昧着良心苟活于世,缺乏崇高境界。与真正的世界一流作家无法相提并论,这只是一个会讲故事的体制内的storyteller罢了,正如其本人所自定义的。

  很多人就天真地以为诺贝尔文学奖仅是且本应仅是纯粹的对于作家文学造诣的认可,挪威诺贝尔委员会从来没有任何其他政治经济文化方面的考虑。很多人就傻到确信只要文学作品出色便够格获奖,不该要求诺贝尔文学奖获得者具备任何政治立场或观念。

  这个社会太糟糕了,人类文明尽管已经飞速发展到如此高深,但民众的普遍素质依然无比低劣,我现在根本想不出一个基本的世人会全部无条件认可的价值底线已经倒退至何处了。

  不过在失望至极的同时,我想到一个虚构的类比。这整件事就好比德国纳粹时期有德国部队化学家合成了能与血红蛋白高效结合的气体,被希特勒用作毒气屠杀犹太人,发明者予以默许毫无异义,并继续在其手下进行生化研究。诺贝尔委员会为其授予化学奖并谴责希特勒暴行,发明者在一开始说过一次:“希望犹太人能健康地活下来,然后,我觉得犹太人完全可以做他们的生意,赚他们的钱嘛。”此后他拒绝再谈犹太人,面对记者的追问还大义凛然道:“我从来都喜欢独往独来,当别人胁迫我开发毒气的时候我从来不干,逼我表态支持犹太人的时候我从来不表态,这是我几十年来一贯的态度。”德国举国上下一片欢腾,庆祝在具有德国特色的纳粹主义路线领导下化学科研取得突破性成就。

  鉴于对作者本人品性的一定了解,估计我后半辈子再也不会有兴趣拜读我们民族引以为豪的这些著作了,也算幸事一桩。

Monday, 7 May 2012

自我阉割

今天twitter上有人说Out of Mao's Shadow的豆瓣条目被删除了,显然是由于书中出现的某个最近可以依法留学攻读法律的采访对象。这么久了还是这样,我觉得豆瓣的手法实在需要改改了。毕竟就连度娘这种婊子都不会以“根据相关法律法规和政策,部分搜索结果未予显示”来搪塞你,如果你用中英文搜索这本书的话(“潘公凯 走出毛泽东的阴影”,“Philip P. Pan Out of Mao's Shadow: The Struggle for the Soul of a New China“ )。注意作者系哈佛大学毕业生,《华盛顿邮报》前驻北京记者,这本书完全可以划入学术范畴内。

在豆瓣令用户愤慨的主要并非审查,而是与其他大型网站相比不合理的、更为严酷的自发审查。这不仅是用户体验问题,也明显体现出豆瓣作为一个网站处事技巧上的生硬拙劣,尽管说不好究其根源具体是个别负责人问题还是整个企业文化问题。如果上面有令,为何只逼迫豆瓣一家?如果没有,为何豆瓣如此自觉开始清理任何与CGC有关的条目?难道豆瓣首脑/审核人员从本质上与网监沆瀣一气么?

简短吐槽完毕说建议。简而言之,豆瓣需要与其他各大网站保持统一战线,别人不封的我也不封,大家都接到通知需要封的我先拖一阵,等别人都封完再下手,并且封可以,但要封得光明正大,依“法”审查。下手分手法与轻重,详细说来,豆瓣对于已有条目的审查据目测大约分三类,一是后台偷偷摸摸修改总评,多用于官方出品,避免太难看太丢人;二是直接暴力删除整个条目不留痕迹,一般是禁书禁片;三是删除封面/海报图,条目保留,多用于色情血腥内容 。

后台强制修改评分和柱状图分布的条目,建议干脆就直接说“根据相关法律法规和政策,该条目总评未予显示”,倒也实在,省得理性用户在心里默算一堆mean, median, mode, SD之后依然觉得不对头各种纠结,感性用户为了一堆或许根本不存在的打三四五星的人悲观情绪暴涨感叹五毛占领豆瓣。豆瓣是以书影音条目为核心的。围绕条目,对用户最重要的是个人收藏和交流分享两方面。有些禁书要求压根不能出现,那无话可说。其余的某些不处于风头浪尖的边缘性条目,如果的交流分享鉴于国情不适宜有,那至少可以保证把个人收藏这另一方面尽量做好吧。收藏的目的就是为了齐全,方便管理查找。建议可以参考封闭社区的管理方式,条目页面显示与否由cookie决定,未注册用户搜索不显示此类条目,对于注册用户,同类条目收藏数量<200者搜索不予显示,这样可以基本避免吃饱了撑的来闲逛视察的以及新注册进来搅浑水的。提示信息可以借鉴豆娘:“根据相关法律法规和政策,您所查找的条目未予显示”。

书有禁书,片有禁片,似乎唱片成为唯一的保留地,那我只用唱片收藏功能行了吧,结果隔三差五还删封面。比如随便打开一张色碾、血碾专辑,往往封面是没有的。想要上传,连上传功能都取消了,伤透心了好吗?真正的艺术作品因为形式看似极端被和谐,而各路令人作呕的小清新横行霸道。这问题也很好解决,为此类条目的封面或其他类似详情的显示与否设置门槛,只有贡献过条目信息的用户才可以察看自己以及其他用户提供的内容,其他用户看到的是和谐版。这样既保证了绝大多数普通用户继续清新,同时也满足了条目收藏者的正当需求。

刚才谈到学术,顿时又心生一计。豆瓣既然已经在读书笔记里整合了LaTeX,并且最近书店开张,可以借势高调进军学术界,直接通过API整合arXiv什么的,和卖书一起卖论文。主要目的是顺便宣布一个功能:学术类条目。新浪不是加V吗,G+不是不是搞page吗,别多想,不是让你们给小站搞认证……高调推出学术功能完全是为了向有关部门发出一个信号——给条目(主要是书和电影,鉴于目前唱片审查不严重)贴上学术标签是很大的保护。豆瓣可以在条目主页面加一个学术图标,提示语“这是一部学术作品,豆瓣鼓励您从新闻学领域出发进行建设性的学术探讨。旁边再弄个类似blogroll或者wikipedia entry页面上external links的栏目,列出已发表论文的参考链接等。

豆瓣目前在条目审查上所使用的技术手段和所下的功夫充分说明了你们完全具有这个技术实力和人力做得更好,只是选择了采取不甚人道的实施方案。毕竟事在人为,稍微多动点脑子,集思广益探讨一下,效果本可以好得多。大家都期望甚高,如果再这样下去不要说怒其不争,连哀其不幸的同情心也将丧失殆尽了。

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

After finals



记在onenote里一定会白写的。


  1. carwash, alignment, oil change, check tire pressure and brakes

  2. renew plate tags after annual inspection; update mailing address at DMV

  3. house cleanup

  4. do laundry

  5. one post of top10 each day

  6. threat/niko interview

  7. restructure bookmarks

  8. categorize library singletons

  9. collect all top recs

  10. finish digging blogs

  11. upgrade to i7 (in a month), test justin.tv and twitch.tv

  12. fresh install laptop

  13. finish portal 2, fallout 3, cod4mw3, elder scrolls 5, mass effect 3

  14. collect achievements in csgo, keep up with cspromod (DM beta and 1.09)

  15. stjude papers

  16. gather gre materials, grad school research

  17. read through astro-ph references on galactic outflow



读书和练琴这些事情哪辈子才能有时间做呢。